THE PROPOSAL! 💍

Two years ago, Ramon proposed to me, and I turned him down. No one wants to end up with a name like Mrs Froyagontage. I think my reasons are valid, even though he thought I could keep my maiden name. I like to part with people on a good note, with good memories. So I broke up with him over dinner. He had a glass of wine in hand when I told him. His proposal was sweet, but welll....There's the issue that he really was born into a family with a name like Froyagontage. If that is not bad omen, I don't know what else is.

A year and a half ago, it was Gideon. 

I didn't see that coming. He was the rebound after Ramon, and he knew I saved his number as the rebound. What will I tell my kids when they ask me how I met their father? It's like the beginning of a romantic tragedy. My heart was never his to begin with. I am glad he proposed because now, I can safely say he is a delusional man. I gave him the contact of my therapist before I walked away. Sometimes we need to tell people in our lives the truth. I hope Gideon took my advice. Delusions are ....well.... deadly. Love can never survive in an environment like that.

A year ago, I moved out of my apartment because my roommate said I was after her boyfriend. Really? Just Because he bought me gifts on valentine's day as well? come on, he was just being nice.I was still single, which is like the apocalypse in my world. I have never been single before since I started dating. I am what people call a serial dater, well, it keeps the fun alive right? 

Anyway, I moved into this small community by the lake, where everyone is too nice. They are not fooling me. It is not in human nature to be nice, and to top it up, my neighbor who is an old woman by the way....Probably in her late Fifties, is trying to set me up with her "nice son".

Firstly, I don't even like nice people, secondly I think their niceness is false, which makes them fall under the creepy people category in my book.

If my one year ago roommate hadn't been too insecure in her relationship, I wouldn't have to deal with all this nice people. I am really allergic to them. Toxic dangerous people. I can't remember the last time my heart had beat in fear, but this people take the cake.

Yesterday, my therapist said i run from anything commitment, and I laughed in her face, because she was wrong. I have been committed to my therapy session for months now, if you don't count the two times that I bailed, but really that's what normal people do. Bailing on events is part of life.

At least I haven't bailed on a wedding.....yet.

Okay, I'm just Joking....Maybe? Bailing on a wedding is not on my bucket list, but at least it would give me a chance to wear a wedding gown, and for people to see me and admire me in it right? See? Bailing on a wedding isn't always bad, especially when the guest get free food, and free gist out of it.

My childhood friend who left me for a "healthier friendship" if there was anything like that, said I was a raving lunatic in a stunning package.

I took it as a compliment, because....duh...That basically means i could handle life. The moron checks on me once in two weeks. I don't particularly hate her voice, but I'm afraid she has gone and joined those nice people. They do have a community. Christians, that's what they call themselves. I have seen them argue heatedly, but what kills the fun is the apology and soberness that follows after. Who on God's green earth likes to be sober anyway?

I remember my dad most day's when I feel normal...Like how normal people feel. I remember daddy because he was my link to normalcy. He'd tell me if Solomon could write a whole book for women, then he could try to write half for his darling daughter.

I didn't understand daddy. I got in trouble a lot, My teacher called me cold hearted, but daddy would smile and tell her I was a saint. Thankfully I grew up, I saw all my dad's words for what it was. Lies. 

Even when he wasn't there anymore, and was six feet under. 

He made me promise to read the bible, but bible makes him tell me lies. 

I hate nights when I remember him, because l miss him, I miss his lies, I miss how he made those lies my truth, I miss him because when he left, everyone left too. No best friend, no good neighbors.

According to my therapist, I cannot trust people! I run from commitment because I was afraid people would leave me. News flash!!! They already left. I told her that, and she said it ain't the same. If I pushed people away because I didn't want to hurt, meant I was already hurting.

Maybe she was delusional too, I suggested she also book a therapy session with another therapist.

She responded by telling me that I never saw the world for myself, but through daddy's eyes, and now that he's gone for over a decade, I've been fumbling to find his perspective, and not my own.

Pfft...Hog wash. She went as far as to say that I avoid the good kind of people, because it wouldn't give me an excuse to walk away.

I laughed hard when she said that. I mean...Lady, you tripping...

In my mind, I was like...is this woman for real?

I guess I must have been making some bad choices anyway, because now I'm single, which is like the beginning of the end in my mind. On top of that valentine is coming, and I don't think my ex roommates boyfriend will extend the love this year. Who cares about valentine anyway. One idiot who went and killed himself because of love.

I told my old next door neighbor that, and she chuckled. Good news is that she has a good smile, bad news is that now, she knows I have no plan for valentine's day. So she invited me to their nice people's group meeting on valentine's day. I couldn't say no, because I would sound like a .....well.... I just couldn't say no

So I said yes, and here I am.

To be continued.....

PS: Is she crazy or what? Feel free to drop your comment below.