BACK TO SCHOOL!!🏢

Bella woke to the sound of her alarm clock. Stretching, she yawned and flipped the cover off her and got off the bed. Taking the alarm clock she turned it off and dragged herself into the bathroom. She took a quick bath and got dressed in her school uniform which consisted of a wine pleated skirt which used to be beyond her knees but she has had it shortened to a little above her knees now. The white long sleeved oversized shirt she used to wear has now been held in the sides to make them tight on her. Donning on a wine sweater that had the name of the school Bella attends on it, St Augustine High School.

Bella rushed downstairs grabbed two pancakes out of the plates left on the dining table and walked out of the house where a car was waiting to pick her up. She entered into the white car driven by her bestfriend dads. The whole ride to school was akward which was unusual because Bella and Mr Peters use to banter a lot and Mr Peters considered Bella his daughter but now the man just kept glancing at her in the mirror not knowing what to do or say to her especially since Bella had put on headphones after replying to Mr Peter greetings with a nod. Bella didn't even seem interested or happy to see Paulina who was her very best friend after a long time. When Paulina had grinned broadly happy to see her bestfriend again, Bella barely even acknowledged her bestfriend's presence and had only answered Mr Peters greeting with a nod before shutting them all out by putting on headphones which had music blarring from it.

Shutting her eyes, Bella thought if her decision to go back to school was the best thing. Her parents had offered to change school for her to get her a fresh start but Bella had refused because she didn't want anyone to think of her as a weak person. She really wasn't looking forward to seeing her school mates or friends but maybe just maybe school would fill some of the emptiness in her since school was one of Bella's favourite place and she actually felt kind of excited to go to school again after taking off some time she was given to mourn her sister's death.

The car came to a stop infront of St Augustine High. Bella got out of the car and walked into the school and from the corner of her eyes she saw Paulina running to meet up with her. Paulina Peters and Bella Wilson has been friends since the time they first met at kindergarten and the two were very close. They did everything together and Paulina and Bella always slept over at eachothers house all the time. Paulina often went out on outings with both the Wilson sisters when Rose was still alive and Rose was like an elder sister to her. She and Bella had held eachother at Roses funeral and cried. However after the funeral, Paulina felt her bestfriend distancing herself from her. Bella wouldn't return her calls or reply her messages and whenever she had gone to visit Bella no matter how long she waited, Bella refuse to show up and despite all this Paulina never failed to always text her bestfriend sending her Bible verses, songs they both sung when Bella was still in the choir and letting her know she would be there for her no matter what.

As Paulina and Bella walked into the school, Bella took off her headphone looking around her. Students were heading towards her with cards and flowers in their hands but what Bella was focused on were the pictures of Rose pasted almost everywhere in school. Bella felt anger bubbling up inside her but kept her peace as she kept on walking struggling hard not to make eye contact with any of Roses pictures pasted. Soon she walked to her locker where she became surrounded by a lot of students holding out their flowers and cards to her. She ignored them and found her way to the principal's office. Bella could feel the gaze of the students behind her and she couldn't tell if it was because they were wondering at the change in her uniform or because they felt pity for her. Bella didn't care either way she had caught some of the students wisphering about her in the hall. Bella knocked once and entered the principal office where she found the principal and other teachers in the office.

"Come in Bella, we were just discussing about you. You haven't missed much and your teachers are willing to help in anyway they can to help you catch up with the rest" Principal Reynold says

Bella nodded hoping this would be the end of the conversation

"I am sure you have seen the pictures of Rose we put up. We are holding a service in honour of her this Friday since she was an exemplary alumni student of this school" Mrs Reynold went on

"And you're having it now since her death. Why?" Bella couldn't help asking.

" Your presence and that of your parent is needed so we waited till you got back to school" Mrs Reynold replied.

Bella has always had nothing but love and respect for Mrs Reynolds. Mrs Reynolds has always come through for Bella when she was having any school problem and she sometimes referred to the woman as her guardian infact the whole school looked up to Mrs Reynold.

"Ok, I'll be sure to inform them" Bella said

What Bella really wanted to say was that she wasn't looking forward to having any memorial service with bunch of people who either didn't know who Rose was or never bothered to know her or knew her but never really cared come and pretend like her sister meant something to them. 

After sometime, Bella was dismissed and as she found her way down the hall to walk into her classroom, her breath caught and she reached for the nearest wall and slid down it as memories of she and Rose in school came flooding back. Who was she kidding? Rose was a huge part of school for her and there is no way she would cope with school withwout her sister.

Who would pick her up from school and take her to the nearest restaurant to talk about the day event? Who would she talk to about what volunteer club to join for the new session? Who would she vent her problems to and who could understand her perfectly the way Rose did? The bell rang and Bella picked herself from the floor wiping her eyes feeling grateful that the hallway was still empty and no one had seen her fall apart. She picked her way to class carefully willing the day to move fast so she could get school overwith and go home.

With Love,

Grazie

HIDDEN BANK OF WEALTH!🤑

We are Sorry for our absence yesterday.

so we pick up today

Jeremiah 29:11 says:

‘For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.’

Well, I find that hard to believe, in between all the chaos in this world and people dying left and right, God has his hands full. Giving me a good plan is less important, I have to find my way!

LIES!!!! Lies of the Devil. Are the Lord's hands short? You have to stop assuming you understand everything God is doing. Abraham was God's friend. God told him his plans, yet he didn't understand God's reason. hence he bargained and failed. 40 people became 10 people, and then he realized. Whoa, God. I see what you mean now.

One of the things I want you to consider today is how your purpose is very important in the grand scheme of things. Maybe you are thinking, what Nigeria needs is a youth president that will overrule tyranny and corruption, whereas, God is waiting on you, because unless Jonathan Loves David, and chose to give up his throne, maybe David also would have stopped believing.

We are all important, Your purpose is important for Nigeria to survive. The dying people are depending on you to discover your purpose. God uses people to intervene, but we want to just chase money and turn God into a magician who waves his wands and then fixes everything once.

If you do not find your purpose, You would have failed God, but God would not fail, he would find someone else to replace you.

Dr. Miles Munroe once said that the richest place in the world was the Graveyard because it is filled with unfulfilled potentials, unwritten books, unwritten music, presidents of organizations, nations, cooperations, world-renowned ministers but never became those things they were meant to be.

You need to decide if that is how you want to end up, or if you want to follow that path that God has designed for you. I know I want to follow him. You should too.

To find your hidden wealth, you must look inwards, the things you love to do, and how it brings glory to God, then take it before God and let him eliminate those things you don't need to focus on, like he did with Jesse's family when he was looking for David.

That part of you, that you consider insignificant, might just be what God wants. There is nothing insignificant about you.

Love,

MaryA.

Money, Fun And What else????🤔

Let's take a bit of time to fave reality.

Really. This is a time to consider the cliche but the necessary question "Why am I here?"

Well, Hello Purpose!

I saw a post yesterday that says we were sent from heaven so that we can compete to make heaven.

I smiled at the ignorance In that statements, and then I realized, that nearly everyone is ignorant, that is why we have few people fulfilling purpose.

Once someone hears purpose, they begin to think of something with an elevated platform, where the whole world can see them. Let me tell you the truth, those people with platforms now didn't begin thinking they would get that platform. The platform is not for all. Some are called to be behind the scenes ensuring everything else runs smoothly.

We will always chase money, fun activity, drugs, affection, and sex if we fail to consider and accept God's love first. All these things are custom-made replacements, the devil has created to divert man from receiving what is already made available for him. God's love.

I wrote an exam last month, and there was a passage we had to read. it was an excerpt from a book, and it spoke deeply, about how we have underestimated man's innate need for a diversion. something to divert their attention away from reality. The writer was talking in terms of technology, but how true is this? 

That even Church activities had replaced real moments of fellowship with Christ?

Of course, you will run that race, and you will be tired, you will fill this empty longing in your heart, and you will tell yourself "if I had a job, it will leave" or "if I had money or a successful business", and then you get that, but it's not enough, so you think...."if I were married" and marriage didn't solve it because "if my spouse would just act a certain way"

There will always be an "If this", and "If that" but the weight of your emptiness can never in this life or the life to come be filled with anything, not even my another man's love, save God's love.

we'll continue tomorrow.

Remember "God has placed eternity in the heart of every man."

Love,

MaryA.

KILL MYSELF OR NOT?🤕

"This is someone's story.... It may not be a literal interpretation for some, but maybe you can relate, please reach out to me."

Have you ever dipped a long stick into a large bowl filled with water and swirled? Do you notice the way the water swirls and swirls and the mid point dips inward almost as if a hole is opening up to swallow up or drain the water?

That is how I feel emotionally. Life is always swirling my emotional bank and with each swirl, a deep cut marks it's birth on my arms. lately it's looking like a tally. My trophies of conquest. I know one day, I'm going to cut so deep and end the pain. I'm going to drain the bank through my vein, and then I'm going to sleep and be at peace.

But I hate the dark, and I lay on my bed each night, shivering in the dark, eyes wide awake because of the voices in my head. I hear them all, the defeat that shrouds my being, the regret that pumps in my veins. The rejection that made me the outcast, and the brokenness that makes me debris.

But then the birds begin to sing, and it's the only time I smile, Because morning is around the corner.

That is when I realize. Warriors have battle scars, mine just happened to be my cuts. So maybe yesterday, I was a cutter, but not today. A warrior fights, and I'd just looked another day in the face and given my battle cry. 

"Not you" I say, "You won't bring me down."

MaryA's Note :  Depression doesn't go away by motivational speeches. Life continues to happen to you, and someday you might figure out you are tired. Here, let me help you. Reach out to me. It's a confidential zone. 

Go to my IG page @The_weeping_ink , and send me a direct message there.

God bless you.

IS HE/ SHE RIGHT FOR ME?💑

Rules! Are there general rules that apply to Relationships? Sure there are, but this is not the bedrock of a good relationship.

The reason a lot of relationships fail is also that you adhere to these general rules, forgetting the more important ones.

What are the more important ones? 

Well, The truth is, As a lady, it is good to look good, for yourself and your intended spouse. but if you have not learned to look good for yourself, the effort you put in for your intended will fade with time.

So this is a hint into the bedrock of a relationship. There are very few leading questions that will guide you there.

1) Who am I?

2) How am I different from everyone else?

3) What are my values?

4) What are my goals

This may look like things you ask yourself when you intend to build a purpose for yourself, but a relationship is also a purpose. That is how you will know not to settle for a man or a lady because he's handsome or she's beautiful, and everyone thinks he/she is godly.

Not everyone is for you, Not everyone even has the Potential to be in a relationship with you. 

The aspect where people have failed most in a relationship is in getting to know themselves.

If I don't know myself, then that is tantamount to standing for nothing and falling for everything or everyone in this case.

The moment one of you in that relationship begins to develop and get a sense of self-direction and self-knowledge, that relationship begins to die, because they begin to realize you are not what they want for themselves.

They have wasted years, trying to fit into the status quo. I learned at an early age, that I was different from 96% of my peers, and I accepted myself the way I was. I of course had my moments when I tried to fit it, but thankfully those phases don't last.

One of the greatest excuses of all time, and also a great barrier in one's life is revealed in this common statement. "That is how I am." 

Is It? Do you even know you?

Being generally friendly is not enough of a personality. Being the mum in the church, or the welfare coordinator, or because you give freely doesn't mean you are ready for a relationship.

Activities that you are good at, or that take your time don't reveal who you are. Instead, they consume your time, so that you don't take the time to know who you are.

Beyond the activities, beyond the skills and talents, beyond the bubbly personality or the shy personality, who are you? 

That part of you is what found the bedrock of a stable relationship.

Try to introduce yourself minus the name. 

I am MaryA, I am an introvert, I love reading..... those are for situations when you introduce yourself in a public gathering. Basic information. The power behind getting to know you personally is what decides if you and a person will be friends or foes.

It's not about your cooking skill, or how much money you have in your pocket, it's not about how soft-spoken you are, or how good you are exactly at decision-making.

Those things are also essential.

But the foundation of a relationship lies in the core of who you are, and unless you find out, you might end up being with the wrong partner.

Love,

MaryA.

PRIORITIES AND YOU!!!🤠

I made a mistake.

Often, after a celebration, you either begin to thank God, or you relax and smile with that satisfaction on your face that the celebration went well.

However, even if the celebration went well, there are moments later when you look back and start to feel like "I could have done this better." 

  Next time, I will do this and that. And sometimes you just wish you could have a "do-over" because the celebration didn't go as planned.

Listen. Yesterday was one of those celebrations. And one thing a lot of us don't realize is that little things have big consequences. 

(I am not even talking about sex right now. Those who spent their day doing such.)

That, I believe is something that has been preached to you over and over again. But little things like what you buy, how you spent your time, the words you spoke. They tend to have eternal consequences. 

Esau was justified because he thought he was dying, so he needed food. And sold his birthright. Wow, Imagine.

Several years later, the bowl of food wasn't important anymore, but the birthright was.

Open your eyes. What you have placed importance on, is not that important.

Lete draw you a scale of preference

1) Money

2) High Paying Job

3) Family

4) Relationship

5) Good Health

6) God.

What should come first?

Naturally, someone might say money brings good health and takes care of the family. It also attracts a life partner right? And you can pay your tithe to God that way.

Let me show you my Scale of preference

1) God

2) God

3) God

You can guess what number four is.

That is me being smart.

Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness, and every other thing shall be added unto you.

My dear, When you chase money, at the end of your life, you will realize the truth behind what I am saying. If God could grant you a few minutes to talk with zillionaires who have passed to the great beyond. They would be brutally honest with you.

I'm not preaching against success or money. No. I want you to be diligent with your work like I am with mine. But if you have to choose between God and money, then there is a problem. That desperate decision you are making today, just to have. money to live a comfortable life, Judas Iscariot did the same. He didn't get comfortable before he passed.

That rich man in the bible that built a barn for his riches, didn't live to enjoy it.

Listen, All good things come from God. I'm also talking to myself right now

 So in all that you pursue, If God is not in it, The excitement will not be perfect

 it will be like a celebration with so many things that could have been done in a better way.

Open your eyes, and your heart.

Love,

MaryA.

SINGLE IN LOVE ....🤥

"Tell me something, Are you ever going to marry me?"  Tayo needed to know.

He'd been proposing to his girlfriend of seven years now, and she had always had an excuse or the other for him. He watched as she sighed. He hated it when she sighed because it always felt like she was internally irritated by him.

At this point, Tayo was desperate. He had gathered whatever courage he had left, and when he realized his courage was not going to be enough, He had borrowed from his friends. They had always told him what they thought of his relationship, but he'd always laughed in their faces and said "You don't know her as I do."

"Let it go Tee." Her face hardened as she munched on a chicken wing.

"I cannot do that this time. I need an answer. Are you ever going to marry me?" He asked again, as his heat slowly sank in his chest. It was a moment of facing the truth even before it was said. Shayo had always kept her distance from him except when she needed him.

" Look Tee." She sighed again, but the slightly wicked glint in her eyes put him on edge. " I am not that woman for you. I'm a serial dater...One man cannot satisfy my needs, and you are one of many trying to lasso me into a marriage. I think you should cut your losses now and......."

"You've been dating others all this year's?" He asked her in a hoarse whisper.

She sighed again. That  "I'm irritated sigh"

" I wouldn't have told you that, if not because I know you'd get clingy. I need a clean break from you. It's been fun Tee. Really."

She proceeded to place a hand on his shoulder sympathetically, which was worse.

"Tee, this is best for you. Who knows, maybe a lady is praying for her perfect man. Praying for me to break your heart, to finally release you, so that she could have you. "

"She must be wicked." Tee whispered hoarsely, struggling with tears, as the seven years they'd spent together rushed through him and left him vulnerable. When he looked up, she was gone. Just like that.

  ***************_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-************

Dara was peeking from her window at the same moment. Her quiet neighbor just walked into the compound and was displaying her bejeweled fingers to her roommate.

Their scream of "Awwww" was what brought her to the window.

Tired of the loneliness that engulfs her when she gets back from work, she looked up at the sky that was pregnant with rain.

"God, if you are listening, that stubborn brother that you made for me, open his eyes. If he's in a relationship, destroy it, please. I don't know how long I can wait anymore. Abi......am I the one who is closing my eyes ni?

Her eyes followed her neighbors again until her phone rang.

"Tayo? Pleasant surprise. We haven't spoken in how many years?"

"I need some advice, and I remember in school, you had plenty of those for me. It never led me astray. I need your help. My life is .....Over."

"Let's not get a dramatic....breath in and out slowly and all w......Tayo, are you crying?......... Tayo? Where are you? I'll come to meet you, just let me know where you are......"

**************_-_-_-_-_-_-_-__--_*************

God looked on and smiled. Dara was a favorite of his, and she was right, Tayo can be stubborn at times. Wasted years stubbornly holding on to a relationship with an appearance of love.

"So what next now?". Angel Gabriel asked, " You know I love a good romantic story."

"Well, in that case, You won't mind reading  1 Corinthians 13: 1-13 to my hearings," God replied

Angel Michael snickered.

Dara was going to have her prayer answered, and Tayo's heart would be mended.

Love,

MaryA.

TO BE BLAMED OR NOT!🤷‍♀️

Mrs. Wilson took a deep breath as she browsed through the family album. Nothing has been the same since her first daughter passed away. Her son was slowly cutting himself off from the family. He had even altogether stopped contacting Bella and only picked his mother's call only on rare occasions. Her husband had thrown himself into work and when his shift ended at work, he volunteers in any activities that needed volunteers. He mostly came home around midnight and is out of the house early the next day. Bella, she doesn't even understand anymore. She has become a shell of what she was before. It even worsened after the last phone conversation she had with her brother Tyler. She became more distant and barely communicated to anyone not even Summer the little girl that Mrs. Wilson had hoped would be the source to bring Bella back to herself. Summer still comes over even though Bella never shows herself to say hi or talk to the child. Bella's mom would play with the child alone and after some time when it was time for the child to leave. She gives Mrs. Wilson a peck on the cheek and shouts "Bella I'm leaving now. I love you" never receiving a response from her friend.

Bella lay on her bed staring at the ceiling. It's pretty much all she has been doing since that last phone conversation she had with her brother. That conversation had brought everything she had been trying to suppress back. Her brother had called her three nights ago drunk and spilled out everything he seemed to have been holding back full-on blaming her for their sister's death. Her brother had ended the conversation with " it should have been you. It should have been you Bella. You should be dead not Rose" then he had hung up.

Bella had felt like she was reliving that moment. Part of her was very hurt by what her brother said and the other part of her couldn't ignore the truth in what her brother had said. No matter how hard she tried the guilt never leaves her. It has always been in her head that Rose deserves to be here not her. 

            All everyone knew was that they were hit by an oncoming vehicle driven by a drunk person and no matter how hard Bella kept it that way, she kept thinking of the possibility that maybe if she hadn't distracted her sister from driving because she wanted to show her a funny video she had seen online while they were conversing with Tyler on Rose's phone then just maybe Rose would have swerved the car in time to save all of them, not just her. Tyler hadn't called back since then and Bella couldn't tell if it was because he felt bad because of what he said or if he didn't remember what he said since he was drunk or if he just decided to cut off since he had made how he felt about her clear.

Bella stood up and opened the door of her room crossing to the other room beside hers. 

She stood in front of the door for a while before slowly opening the door and entering it. The room looks just the same as Rose left it. Her parent had opted to donate some of Rose's things to charity but Bella had refused strongly to let them. She didn't know why she insisted on keeping all her sisters property the same she just knew they had to be left alone. Before Bella could fully step into the room she backed up and turned around opening the door leaving the room. Feeling sick, Bella turned once again and went into her room, she sunk to the floor tears falling from her eyes. She didn't feel worthy to enter Rose's room. She is the one responsible for her death, for her brother's best friend's death, for her parent beloved daughter's death, for everyone's role model's death. 

                 Bella cried asking why Rose had to be the one to die and not her. Bella cried because she couldn't understand why her sister who had a bright future and goals she would have achieved successfully had to die and she, who can barely mean to live anymore is alive. Life has been nothing but empty and meaningless to Bella after her sister's death and even though Bella knew she didn't do anything wrong while her sister was alive, she couldn't help thinking if it was some punishment of some kind for her? Bella just didn't know anymore.

With Love,

Grazie.

MaryA's Note - Grief can turn you into a stranger to yourself. If you have not experienced grief, you have no right to jidge bella. And I you have, you still habe no right to judge her. People react to grief differently.

BELLA obviously doesn't have a relationship with her parents. It is wrong to put ministry before your family, since the first assignment God gave you is your family. If God Neglected you in favor of the Church, how wouod you feel?

I personally wish I could lend bella some strength. What do you feel?

I WORRY FOR YOU!😟

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, let your request be made known unto God.

Do you know that you can be worried because someone close to you is worried? I know it has happened to me. And the thing about worry is that it is one of the early contagious disease, that can be dated back to the first generation created by God. The first sign of worry was rooted in Cain, who became concerned about his brothers sacrifice. That worry didn't stem out of love, but from selfishness.

 There's another kind of worry, the contagious kind. The kind that sends a whole family into a frenzy when one person is terminally ill. (Ha! I caught you. you were just justifying that kind of worry, as unavoidable.) We'll come back to that.

There's a kind of worry that seems small, but plagues us day to day. I'm worried my boss would not like my work, I'm worried that everyone would see me as incompetent, and I'm worried I will not get a job.

God never said we would never have to worry. He said when worry comes in, there is nothing you can do about it. Other than bring it to God.

We all worry whether we know it or not, and we have to acknowledge that dirt, before we can move forward. 

So now, I know I worry, or I am worried that my loved ones are worried, and it makes me take some drastic steps when I should take a deep breath and turn to God.

Next time, I will take a deep breath and pour out my complaints to God.

If there is anyone who is "worried" for us, it is God. However, God is not worried. The opposite of this kind of worry is Love, and with his Omnipotence, omnipresence and omniscience, he has faith in you to pull through the despair net the devil has put humanity in.

Listen, if God is not worried, why should you?

If we reason well, we'd realise that God is the one who has every reason to be worried, yet he isn't. He has invested in humanity, and he sees all the potential disaster ahead of everyone. 

You'd think he was watching an horror movie. Imagine God looking into the future and seeing Hitler, or ISIS, or the situation at Afghanistan. That's enough for high blood pressure, yet he is not worried, because his plans are perfect without a loop hole.

(Did I hear you say, but he is God.) Daniel, that's one person God could trust with some things he saw in the future, and who didn't go panicking.

God wants to trust you, but you have to trust him first to give him your worries.

Love,

MaryA.

A CHILD AT HEART!🤱

Hello!!! How was your extended weekend? Mine was beautiful.

So I have a story to share. Lately, I have been travelling between two states. The time before the last, I sat with an elderly woman who was carrying two kids in her lap. one was older than the other. I found it irritating the way the mother indulged the younger kid in so many things. She was allowed to get away with a lot, while the elder had to behave.

 I was wondering how that was going to pan out later for them in life, when the younger one started throwing tantrums again. Her eyes met mine and she paused. Then she pointed to the window and told me to "Look away."

Of course I kept looking at her then and she emphasized again for me to look away. We were fast becoming enemies. Because I didn't do what she asked.

Then she became bored and I offered her my hand. she had lots of fun playing with my hand and giggling... And the next time her mum noticing the mood of the passengers towards her indulgence of her last child started to scold her.

And the child said. "I'll report you to Aunty." She said pointing at me.

I chuckled under my breath and shook my head.

"Kids." That's exactly what I said in my head.

And we were best friends till I alighted from the bus.

It crossed my mind later how sometimes we want to do things we know that God will frown at, and then we want him to "Look away."

Maybe even get frustrated that we can't be like the unbelieving counterpart of creation.

However, with complete abandon, the kid figured she could report her own mother to me. Trusting. 

And then I remember "Except ye become like this little kids......."

There is a reason God wants us to have the attitude of a child, but the wisdom of an adult.

I left that vehicle realizing that I might have been underestimating God all my life.

He came second to what my parents wanted (that's not an excuse for disobedience to parent) He came second whenever there are other people who could help me. Why bother God (who may not answer in time), when I can bother this people. He came second to my emotions, when I let them take the driving seat of my life.

And even those times when I trusted God, it was because I had trusted my efforts first and failed.

"I will report you to Aunty."

That statement says, i cannot handle you on my own, but although Aunty looks smaller compared to you whom I've known my whole life, I believe if I report you, she will do something about it. It was trusting because she wasn't afraid "Aunty won't respond".

We have made God seem smaller compared to our situations. Because the situations surround us, and subconsciously we believe God resides up there in heaven, far away from us, we try not to bother him. We believe generational Curses that we have no power over, and instead of Going to God for power and rescue, we accept it and try to trick a curse out of binding you.

My people perish from lack of Knowledge.

1) Knowledge of God

2) Knowledge of the helplessness of self

3) Knowledge of Royalty (you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood)

4) Knowledge of Power (Behold I give unto you power)

5) Knowledge of Sonship

6) Knowledge of his Sacrifice (He who spared not his only son......How shall he not freely give us all things)

7) Knowledge of His Love. (Greater love hath no man than this.....)

Love,

MaryA.

LIFE AFTER ROSE'S DEATH!!!! 🌹

Walking along flourish street, Bella acknowledges greetings thrown her way. She nodded and sometimes smiled in response but her mind wasn't on it.. She vaguely wondered how life has moved on powerfully, without rose. Rose was the kind of person that was larger than life it self. She gave hope to those alive, that you wouldn't link her and death in a sentence. 

One would assume the hands of the clock would cease to move at her passing. Yet here she was, surrounded by people who still treats her the same and view her the same way they've always done which she finds disconcerting expecially when her parents have been doing all in their power to bring back the old Bella succeeding in nothing but frustrating themselves even more. 

     Bella wasn't sure she wanted to go back to being who she used to be. She wasn't sure she knew how. Especially without Rose there.Yet, a part of her wasn't sure she knew who she was anymore. She was pushing throught each day, trying not to think about her sisters last moments when they had all been chatting. Herself, Rose and tyler. The merry Wilson siblings.

Tyler had become someone she could not relate to anymore. It suddenly seemed like Rose was the connecting bridge between them, and now that she was gone, they didn't know how to cross that bridge. Tyler had thrown himself into school work after being poker faced at Roses burial. It was as if he worked hard enough and didn't cry, then Rose would not be dead. One out of every ten calls she made to Tyler was received with barely a response. It seemed to bella that Tyler was cutting himself away from her. What she had a hard time understanding is if he was cutting his family away because he blamed bella herself or because they all served as a reminder that someone is Missing. Some days, Bella also finds herself away waiting to here roses musical voice either singing at the top of her lungs while working, or scratchy from waking up late. 

Reaching into her shorts pocket, Bella pulled out her phone and dialled Tyler again. Maybe it was because she needed someone who understood Rose as she did to grieve with. She had no idea, but it had become reflex to dial Tyler this days, while she holds her breath waiting for him to pick up or not.

He picked on the first ring

"Hey lil sis" her brother chirped happily

" Hey . Uh....Tyler?" She frowned.

"Yes that's me."

"Sounds like celebration over there, what is the occasion?" Bella had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

The sound of loud music required her to shout into the phone for Tyler to hear her, and she didn't like doing that in the middle of the streets.

"Oh, that. It's just an harmless party, thrown in my honor." 

" Ahhh.... Okay, care to share?" Bella responded, she could imagine Tyler grinning over the phone, and this didn't fit into the image of Tyler she'd been carrying in her heart ever since the burial.

" I made it into the soccer team" 

" Oh wowwww thats great. Tyler I'm really happy for you" Bella responded with an unsure smile. 

Are we supposed to be happy? Without Rose? She thought to herself.

"Thanks Bels, ok I gotta go" Tyler says as someone called his name in the background.

"Hold on, so are you celebrating with me later or what?" 

"I'm at this club my new friends bought me to and it's amazinggggg" her brother responded slurring a little

"Tyler, are you drunk?" Bella couldn't help asking

"Maybe a little and I love it." 

"Ty..." Bella began

" Ok now I really have to go and hey you better not say a word about this to the adults" her brother says referring to their parent 

"Ok I won't just..." Bella got cut off as her brother ended the call.

" Just be careful Tyler. I miss you so much and I love you Ty. Bye" She whispered into the wind. Her breath catching on a hiccup. For some reasons, she was loosing Tyler too. She was feeling like an only child. It was just a matter of time, before she felt like an orphan when her parents get busy.

In her unseeing state, a gentle tug on her hand startled her, and she looked down to see a girl in pigtails

"Oh hi there Summer, how are you today?" Bella says scooting down to reach the girl's size.

" I'm good. I love your hair" The six years old replied

" Thanks Summer and no you can't get your hair done like mine" Bella says knowing fully well Summer was about to ask to get her hair done to match Bella's. She had met Summer at the orphanage across the street that she and her sister often visited while the latter was alive. Summer was one of Rose's closest friend, they shared the same passion that everyone called Summer Mini Rose Wilson. On hearing the news that Rose died, Summer had cried just a little then told everyone after that they shouldn't cry because they'll all get to see Rose again someday. Bella remembered how surprised she had been at the child's reaction and after that Summer had always stuck to Bella. She visited the Wilson's whenever she was allowed to since Bella had all together stopped coming to the orphanage after Rose's death.

" Can i get a sweet instead then?" The child asked

"Sure sunshine, I'll make you one" Bella responded. Bella was good at making sweets and all the children loved the sweets she used to make them.

" Ok now run along. We don't want to get Mrs Adams worried looking for you now, do we?" Bella says stirring the child along the way to the orphanage.

"Ok I'll go in now, Bye Bella and make me three sweets please?" Summer says

"Sure you'll get three. Ok bye Summer ." Bella calls from the gate of the orphanage. 

As she turns to go, her eyes caught Mrs Adam's the patron of the orphanage who gives her a huge smile. Bella waved awkardly in return, nodded her head in acknowledgement and turn to walk back home with a strange longing in her heart.

With Love,

Grazie.

CLAIM PAST TRUTHS!⏳

In our attempt at hoping for a better future, we often write off the past. We have heard various sayings that "your past does not decide where you will end up." 

  I find the statement a little bit pretentious and 60% untrue.

Your past, and whatever experiences you might have had, leave invisible marks on you. Well, in some cases, they are quite visible. Some are scars, some are just marks. The way you think, some of your habits, and the way you respond to situations are a function of where you are coming from "your past." 

  Do not get me wrong, Your past does not make your choices for you, but it is one of the chief decision makers influencing you.

In fact, I believe a lot of people will make progress if they dared to look into their past thoroughly and accept something's about themselves. The unpleasant ones...you reject. But in rejecting it, it doesn't mean it never happened. It has happened to you, which means it has left a mark on you. 

    Despite motivational speeches, people still love their comfort zones, they do not want to step out of it. This is the makings of someone in the present comfortable in the past, and yet they go out and say "the past doe not define me." 

In psychotherapy, often times, during evaluation of a disorder or counselling, the psychologist wants to journey with you back to the events of the past, because that is often where the foundation for the present and the future is laid.  

And the bible says if the foundation be destroyed, what shall the righteous do?

This foundation, either you like it or not, youve been building it for a while now.  

sometimes, the sufferings in your past are not that bad, get out of your self-pity mentally.

   David went through a lot in his past, the king of Israel wanted him dead, and he became a fugitive, travelling day and night, in the rain and storm, forgetting what it was to sleep on a bed. That is difficulty, but God was preparing him for the throne and that was a disciplinary phase. Who knows if he would have gotten comfortable like saul too otherwise.

Rahab was an harlot. God knew that, But it was her experience as an harlot that got her information and gave her the wisdom to hid the Israel spies. She found a better future, left harlotry, but there were nuggets of wisdom hidden in her past experiences.

Discard your past, and you do not know who you are anymore. Struggle with your identity.

However, you want to discard your past properly. You need divine wisdom. There are a part of that past you do not want anymore, but God will teach you what to carry with you from your past and what to leave behind.

Wisdom is profitable to direct.

Much Love,

MaryA.

ERROR IN JUDGMENT 😖

Some times, people's opinion of you can be infuriating. Expecially when you don't want to be who they are trying to shape you into.

   It is easy to be angry, feel vindictive. Want to get back at them for their determination to see the worst in you, but that is exactly what you signed up for, when you decided to stand against the world.

Unfortunately, even "Christians" fall under this category. Every one with their own opinion, and judgements because they believe they are the only one walking in the light. This set if people, their words are disguised as light... They believe they know the truth and are trying to help you see the truth, but they lack love in their heart, and the bible says this set of people are mere loud clanging cymbals.

If you love your brother or sister, your corrections will not come out as condemnation or criticism. Be quiet for a moment and think. Why do condemnations for others come so easily to your heart.

The feeling is so strong in you, that it is an immovable pillar inside of you. The devil is the accuser of brethren, and you are his apprentice. If you lived in the time of Rahab, what would you think about her? Yet God saw her as better than the Israelites at the time enough for her to be the great grandmother of Jesus. 

Forget what you see outwardly. It is not your duty to pass judgement. It is your duty to love everyone. Everyone!

The two great commandments are to love God and your neighbors. God doesn't care that you think she's an harlot, he doesn't care that you think he is a yahoo person.

He doesn't care that she is a wicked witch who makes your life miserable.

You were sent to love.

Bible says especially the wicked ones...In doing so, you help them develop a conscience.

Review your method and technique of relating with believers you think are beneath you, and unbelievers.

Love,

MaryA.

THE MONTH OF LOVE.💗

Happy New Month.

Majority Knows this month to be the month of Love. Just because of one calendar date and the event attached to it centuries ago. Despite the popular opinion, I believe that Each and every month carries equal ability for love. Depends on who you are asking.

However, if we decide to follow the pattern and acknowledge it as a month of Love, then it is only fair that we get to know about the Origin of love. 

It was said over 2000AD that a man walked the earth named Jesus. You can't really doubt his existence because even atheist acknowledge the "BC" and "AD" part of dates in history refers to this man. If you know any other man whose existence has altered days to the point that years are split in two. Before his Physical appearance on earth, and after his Death. That alone has the power to indicate someone backed up by God.

Jesus had siblings who ridiculed him. Let's face it, it would be difficult for you not to mock your brother or sister if he/she claimed to be Christ, and worse your parents believe it. Yet, the evidence were not in his favor.

To understand Christ, you have to step out of the world of rationality to the world of Faith that seems unreasonable to the flesh, but complete right to the eyes of faith. Even the virgin birth of Jesus defies explanation till date. 

So back to my story. This man Jesus was the most scorned to ever walk this earth. Can you imagine yourself, unwanted and unloved by your siblings, the very church which you try to defend, trying at every turn to publicly humiliate you and make you the enemy. The government at your birth had ordered your death, and your heavenly father in heaven actually sent you to eventually die a painful death.

It is safe to come to the conclusion then, that Jesus hardly knew what love was. Because people really hated him, and those that loved him could never help him. They loved him but didn't understand him. we all want to be understood.

Mary his mother didn't understand him, she just kept all his sayings in her heart. Jesus came to that realization at the age of 12 when he asked them. Don't you know I would be about my father's business?

Of course, they didn't know!

If you ask me, I would be tired of explaining myself.

Peter loves Jesus, we all know that. He actually said he would die for Jesus. Yet, after all the explanation of Jesus about how he has to die because that was his purpose. Bible said, peter took him aside and began to rebuke him.

Unloved, Misunderstood and Scorned, that is our Jesus.

If you asked me to go and help someone who mistreated me and embarrassed me in public, I will not think about it... I would give you a sound excuse that will shake heaven.

Yet Jesus after being slapped, mocked, beaten, torn to pieces never spoke ill to this people, never cursed them. He obediently went to die to save all of them and us.

That is love. Jesus looked at this people and understood their action was birthed by the devil, and in that moment, he knew he had to die. His heart was flooded with love . Love flowed mingled with pain in the blood that marked the way from pilates palace to calvary.

Love is Understanding when it is most difficult.

Love is dying, To give man a second chance at life.

Love is selfless, Not giving in to self pity, but moved with compassion for our scorners.

Love is Jesus!!!

"Say this prayer with me.

That I may know him! And the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his suffering."

Amen.

With this Knowledge, pray for wisdom for application of love this month and beyond.

Love,

MaryA.